Where is Love?

Wow….it’s already the end of May and now June. Time does seem to fly, doesn’t it? A few weeks ago now, I had the opportunity to make a quick trip to my hometown of Greenville, Alabama. I was asked to be a part of a celebration of the life of our theater teacher, Roberta Gamble. She was a force and a leader in our community. She was as passionate about theater as my coaches were about sports. I enjoyed being a part of it, saying a few words, performing, and visiting with people I hadn’t seen, and meeting new people that came to the theater that she made possible. It was a joyous night.

Earlier that morning however, I was at a funeral for my aunt, Joyce Sikes. My Aunt Joyce fell in love and married my mother’s brother, Charles Sikes and the two of them started and shared a life together. Funerals are a mixed bag. On one hand, it serves as closure and a final goodbye “for now”, and the other hand, it feels like a reunion of sorts as friends and family make their way through the line sharing words of condolences followed by stories and multiple conversations. It’s an odd but normal behavior. We laugh, love, and cry in one event. That’s a funeral. We seem to celebrate and pay respects to the life we lost and at the same time comfort and celebrate the fact we are still here with the ones that remain. The conflict for some of us, especially family, is the emotional trap.

I’m not saying it’s a bad trap, it’s just a trap of emotion. For some, we stay stoic, smile, nod, and thank people for coming, and comfort the other family members that are expressive with their emotions. For others, there is a complete shutdown. No tears and no words. Still for others, it’s instinctive to be conversational, crack a lighthearted outgoing tone in an effort to encourage and guide through the event. Whatever your personality is, it’s ok. It’s all ok. No matter what, the funeral will end and the quiet moments will come for us all.

As I left the lunch that was provided at the funeral my mind went to the next thing. The Ritz Theater. As I walked out on stage with my guitar, what I had planned to say in my mind, I looked out in the audience, and I thought of Aunt Joyce. She too was a Greenville Tiger. Earlier at the reception before the show I spoke with many people who knew her expressing their love and stories they remembered. I had a person say to me years ago, “Kevin, people remember the ones who loved”. That is so true.

And there I was on stage in that moment remembering two people who loved. I spoke of leadership, and the qualities of leaders as I made comments about Mrs. Gamble and the last quality I mentioned was leaving a legacy. I said, long after our names are not spoken and the stories are not told, the true legacy we leave will be what we left in the hearts of people we knew. Did we sow seeds of love? Love is not a weak word. It encompasses many things. Love also means discipline, commitment, faith, sacrifice, and fortitude. It’s the strongest force in the universe. Not surprising when we are told, “God is love”. The legacy we leave in the hearts of others as we pass through this life will travel far past ours.

My Aunt Joyce left a legacy too. She loved her children, and she loved her friends, coworkers, and total strangers. The theme music to celebrate Mrs. Gamble’s life was naturally Broadway tunes and while I don’t do them on any kind of regular basis, I chose to revisit a song called “Where is Love.” I sang this song as child when cast to play Oliver in “Oliver Twist”. If you’ve seen “Oliver Twist” then you know in the scene he sings this song, he is in total despair. He doesn’t know if the light will come, hence the song “Where is love”. It’s soft, almost prayer like…As I started my gentle version through my guitar all the emotion of the day culminated.

That’s the way life is, isn’t it? Everything comes in waves. How ironic, or maybe it’s not at all? I felt in that moment and as my voice cracked on the last little falsetto note, that love is exactly what I’ve been getting my whole life. How blessed am I? No, life isn’t easy, it’s been filled with challenges for all of us but at the end of the day, there was someone or many someone’s who loved me and you….that is what we need to pass on as we pass through.

Love Big,

Regrets or Redemption

I haven’t blogged since January 8, 2024 where I had written a few thoughts about trying to live with a positive attitude. The daily choice to overcome the challenges with a sense of humor, purpose and a resolve to find the faith, forgiveness, and fortitude to move forward. It’s not easy, is it?

This past year was challenging. We pressed on, we kept busy, we worked, we prayed, and we didn’t quit. I enjoy meeting and talking to people as much as I do performing, filming, and tailgating with my favorite pitmaster friends, and I’ve learned this message over and over… we are all in this together. This never changes.

The disappointments of life affect us all. The tragedies, the heartbreaks, the wins and losses. There is no escape from this truth. While on the road, I noticed a sign in a Mexican restaurant that read, “Losers quit when they get tired, Winners quit when they’ve won”. I loved it! I think that describes us. We all get tired, but we can win this thing if we don’t quit.

So, I’m blogging now. After a year of keeping my head down, pouring into the work of being present, talking with real people face to face, living their lives and doing the best they could where they were. YOU uplift me. If you surround yourself with people who respect other people even when you disagree, always looking for how we can work together, you will be blessed and find peace. The strong values of faith, family, friends, the love we have for our country and desire for doing good where we are, is what I found while traveling doing the events, sharing the love and making new memories. It was the best way to spend the time amidst the constant negativity we didn’t have to look hard to find.

I was blessed to entertain, serve, and enjoy everyone I had a chance to meet. I plan on doing the same this year and try to do it even better! I’m going to blog again this year. The cloud has been lifted. Last year some of you noticed we started this thing called “Gatin N Grillin”. We are in the process of putting together another big step in this project. In short, we’re bringing the tailgate to you and we love the message we’re taking with us. You know we’re going to have a lot of fun. Also, thanks for the love you’ve shown my new album and musical show “Alabama Soul”….we’ve just begun.

There’s two words that I think define this life more than most. “Regret or Redeem”. We have regrets when we feel like there was something we didn’t do or could have done but either chose not to, or we simply were dealt a bad hand and couldn’t. Which is why I love the word “Redeem”. The word redeem means to gain or regain something. Of course, you knew this already. But do you think about it in terms of how we live each day? In other words, are you redeeming the time you have been given? The only way to erase regrets, is to redeem the next opportunity with doing better. Just the act of trying to do better will redeem your spirit.

Bottom line is, I want to redeem the time in 2025! I want to do it even better. Cheers to us and wishing all of us the best for the new year! No regrets only redemption!

Love big,

See you down the Road!

Love Big,

Kevin

Happy New Year to Us

What do you really wish for this year? I’ve had an opportunity to meet a lot of folks along the way and we’ve had many conversations. After establishing a certain amount of trust we’ve shared several heartfelt thoughts. These exchanges consist of topics like family, friends, politics, faith, community, children, and so much more. We’ve shared laughter, heartache, music, sports, and definitely the food too…. there’s always the food. The end of each year brings on reflection. What did I do well? What could I do better? What do I really hope and pray for this coming year?

I love this phrase I stole from a friend. When asked what he thought about pessimism, he said, “I’m just not for it, I can’t see a future in it” After the initial laughter I couldn’t agree more. There’s a verse in the Bible that says, “So a man thinks he is”. Or, put another way, by one of my coaches, “if you expect to lose, chances are, you will succeed”. It’s not easy either….being positive. It’s quite the task. It’s so easy to be negative, apathetic, and casually sarcastic at best. We’re naturally good at being those things.

Being positive doesn’t mean you can’t see reality either. It means you choose to deal with reality with a certainty that no matter what happens, you will have done your best, to be your best. It means you will not waver in your foundational beliefs but treat others with respect. It means you will try to make it right when you know you have fallen short. Ask anyone you know who are in a recovery program. I would say these things apply to all of us. They will share what it means to have to remove themselves from a bad situation when all efforts of diplomacy have failed, or having to standup knowing a bridge may be burned. However, the truth is, it was probably burning long before you had to cross it to get to the other side. Yes, living with a positive attitude is tough. I mean, it can be exhausting. I personally believe being positive is just another way of saying, “I have faith”. I have faith in something bigger than me. A lot bigger than me, because I can’t be positive without it.

So, my wish, my hope, and my prayer is that we will greet this year with optimism and a strong faith. Let’s look for the good and try to do some good wherever we find ourselves. There’s a reason why we celebrate the start of a new year. There’s a reason why we say to each other, “Happy New Year”. It’s because we made it. We have the privilege, the opportunity to do it again. To do it better. To honor the memories of the ones who finished their journey and go put our faith to action.

Happy New Year everyone!

Love Big

Sharing the Love ( 1st to Respond...last to leave)

We lived through it, and all of us were affected in so many different ways. However, I found something during this time that inspired me personally and professionally. Some jobs are like having running water. You never want your water to shut off. You know exactly what I mean. When the water gets shut off, everything else, shy of having a life-threatening situation, takes a back seat till the water problem is fixed.

There are many occupations that are like water to us. From the trucking industry, medical field, grocery business, and utility services and transportation, they are part of what gives our lives, country and communities the ability to carry out our daily responsibilities and the very act of living. They are part of our “running water”. As the Covid situation unfolded, I found an opportunity to do and experience something special.

As most of you know, my journey and career includes being a brand representative for Conecuh Sausage (www.conecuhsausage.com). After finishing up a final season in an 8-year run of the national tv show “The Right Place with Kevin Sport”, I had written the jingle “Get your Grill On” for Conecuh Sausage, and I was doing events, concerts, media tours, community charity events, and whatever the occasion, we served up Conecuh Sausage. The product speaks for itself. If you know, you know:) It’s a joy to be a part of the Conecuh team. Combining food with music and entertainment was also a way to bring people together, and that will never change for me.

As the Covid situation unfolded, I called a Fire Chief to see how he was doing. In the course of that conversation, he teased me about coming by and serving up Conecuh dogs for them. I decided that I would. I just released our first short 2-minute social media video where I start sharing some of the back story. From that moment, I realized two things. First, I found something during that time that I could do completely off the truck while abiding by whatever rules were in place at each destination. Second, I listened. I’ve listened to the people in each community that for whatever reason decided to serve us with their life in this way. The stories they shared while sharing a meal were incredibly moving. We also found plenty of things to laugh about. I also found what I call “the real day”. Interacting with folks right in front of me. No agenda, no angle, just real conversation, and the chance to say thank you and learn about their lives.

In the past almost 3 years, I have had the pleasure of meeting all kinds of people who serve as 1st Responders. Fire Fighters, emergency medical personnel, police offices, sheriffs, and community leaders who you will never see on major news outlets but serve their communities and neighbors every day. I was also fortunate to do an event at the Fire College in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. Men and women from all over the country as well as parts of the world have chosen this college for training. The persons who work there are amazing and what I learned was eye opening.

Like a lot of cool things, you don’t see it coming. As a matter of fact, you might have set out on a completely different road and realized what you thought was your next destination was changed. For me, that’s exactly what happened. There’s a lot going on in our world and our country. There always has been and always will be, but we have to be present, open, and aware so we can contribute in the right way at the right time.

In the coming months, I along with my manager, Denny Sanders at (TLC Nashville), will be putting together a special project with what I started naming in my social media posts, “Sharing the Love”. The phrase has two meanings. First, I was sharing the love of Conecuh Sausage by serving up a sausage dog, chips, and drinks, and entertaining with music, conversation, and meeting different people in the communities and saying thank you. The second meaning, however, is where the heart is found. They “share the love” to us every day they get up. There’s a chance that day could be their last. It’s sobering. It’s inspiring. It’s deserving of our respect and gratitude, and encouragement. These folks strive to be the best. We should too.

I wrote a song a few years ago called “Good Morning Jesus”. I recorded a demo. When we say “demo” we mean it was recorded with the intention of just getting it down. Kinda like your first draft of your essay. It was the last song in that session that day and I had an hour left. I asked the guys if they didn’t mind laying something down just so I could have a starting point for later. So, we did. The message of the song is simple; Chorus lyric line “I want to share a smile even when I hurt, I want to be able to share a kind word to a stranger today” The first time I played this song, I was greeted with, “I needed to that, thank you”. Every time I’ve played this song, I’ve gotten that kind of response, and I can tell you that the reason I wrote the song to begin with is because I needed it. I want to be the best version of myself I can be. I wrote the song because I believe in Jesus, and I believe we can tap into that kind of love through our faith but regardless of your own personal beliefs, the song is honest and the message is about loving each other.

As I started to incorporate events with the 1st responders, I realized that they live the message of this song every day. We plan to record a final version soon and release this song while sharing stories of these brave, steady, everyday heroes. They are the heart of every community.

We have so much to share…

Love Big

The color Blue & Mom

I love stories. Real stories. The kind of stories that give insight to how you feel, what you’ve experienced and what you’ve learned along the way. Those stories give way to find little things that sometimes weigh more in importance as life unfolds. When I was born, my great grandmother gave my mom a poem titled, “Blue Eyed Baby Boy”. I do have blue eyes and like most of us, our eyes are naturally the first thing we lock into when we arrive. But this blog is not about me, or the fact that my eyes are blue, and I’m certain you will have your own version of why “little things” can mean more down the road.

I haven’t written a blog in a while and the truth is, I didn’t know how I wanted to share this or if I did at all. The thing is, we are all in the same line at some point. I thumb through my newsfeed and see many of my friends and their friends going through similar or even the same version of the same fight. It never ends. I’m always hoping when I share something, especially something personal, it might be encouraging. This is a tribute to the person who brought me and my brother into this world. He received a poem too by the way:)

Last year, our mom had surgery to remove a cancerous tumor. In short, it was extensive, and she is going through cancer treatments and everything that comes with it. For her, and the type of cancer she has, it’s a hard battle. This past Christmas was spent in the hospital and prior to that, several visits to the emergency room. She is not a quitter. Never has been. She has passed on to us an attitude of always striving to see the upside because in her words, “If you can’t see yourself doing well at what you’re trying to do, you won’t”. She wanted us to have confidence and humility, and she was pretty tough when we were growing up. Big on good manners. Big on politeness, kindness, faith, and all the things mothers try so hard to instill. My brother and I are grateful. She has lived her faith and she still is doing so. We are blessed to have her.

There are times all of us feel frustration, resentment, and just the feeling of depression when we see someone, we love so much suffering. Our minds are able to rationalize what’s going on, but in regard to the emotional rollercoaster, we have no immunity. It is going to happen. So, what is the upside? If you’re like me and you haven’t had a health battle on this level, then, it’s hard to really know. We are simply getting a front row seat, and trying to do our part to love and support the one who is sick. Imagine every day of your life you feel the worst you’ve ever felt times a thousand, and you’re only looking for the next “moment” you can have some type of relief. How could you possibly find anything to be positive about?

I’ve learned something over the last few months about my mom. Don’t get me wrong, she’s not perfect. She’s made mistakes. She’s a human being. She would be the first to tell you so. The great equalizer is the power of love. There’s a verse you might remember that says, “love covers a multitude of imperfections”. It most certainly does. I can also tell you that its power takes us to new levels. When I’m working, naturally I check in every time I know she might be having any kind of better day. I call dad first, then asked the question, “Is she up for a call today?” I can tell you with everything she is dealing with, she doesn’t want to talk to me about herself. She wants to talk about what I’m doing, what Sandi’s doing, and how I’m doing, and how our family is doing, and always ending with “Go do it well”.

Like you, I’ve had questions along the way about various things, but I have never questioned our mother’s love for us, her love for others, and her love for the best of life, or her faith. Whatever your faith and beliefs may be, it is best served when serving others while trying to do your best at what you do. While the emotional rollercoaster rolls on, I have witnessed the upside. She is still finding the positive by looking beyond herself and trusting in her faith even as she fights this battle. To say that this is inspirational is an understatement. It’s a legacy you can’t pay for, and you can’t put into words. It’s powerful.

My great grandmother was a strong, positive woman too. She was a bit more “tackless in words” (lol) but very loving. That poem “Blue Eyed Baby Boy” is at my mom and dad’s house. The color blue is something I gravitated towards. It’s my favorite color. I feel and look my best when I wear it. My mom loves it too. It’s a simple thing she subtly waved in my direction as a kid, much like the teams we pull for or a favorite meal. We all have those favorite “this or that’s”, but every now and then, those simple things have deeper meanings. A foreshadowing of sorts. The color blue symbolizes open spaces, freedom, imagination, inspiration, and loyalty. Its personality is calmness. It also symbolizes a deep faith and trust. My mom has all of those things, and we aspire to follow. For others dealing with your own battles, I pray you find the upside. We will pray for each other, and I’ll wear my favorite color now with those thoughts in mind.

Love Big

Are you Superstitious ?

Are you superstitious? Do you believe in signs? I’m betting most of us have our own versions of it. Do you walk down the sidewalk and avoid the cracks? Are maybe you have a thing about your favorite “good luck” shirt, or at the very least, your black eyed peas on January 1st. Around our house, we have several strange, yet somehow “proven” beliefs..lol My wife Sandi most certainly believes in signs and she’s a little superstitious too. I like it when she finds a dime. Our nephew’s baseball number was 10, and I’ve written about Holt Rowland before, and the Holt Rowland Foundation. For those of you who don’t know, we lost Holt at the young age of 16, and started the Holt Rowland Foundation in his honor. Among his many attributes, he had a great sense of humor. Every time Sandi finds a dime, she smiles, and it always seems to happen at the right time. Sandi believes it’s a small way of saying,” hello, and it’s all good”. I do too, and the smile on her face and warmth it brings to her heart is just a reminder of the love that never dies.

My love for baseball started certain superstitious habits. I had a favorite kind of glove, undershirt, and routine before games that I hated to change. Maybe sometimes it’s just all in our heads, but whatever the case, I think most of us have a little tinge of these beliefs, whether trivial or spiritual, we have them. This year however, I’ve experienced a unique thing with the number “6”.

I’m on the road often. If you’ve been following what I do, you know one of the things I enjoy is spending time meeting and sharing “thank yous” and the love of Conecuh Sausage to our 1st Responders. It’s been such a privilege, and blessing to do it. I have a weird habit of adding the numbers up to each hotel room I would stay at during my travels. I wish I could tell you why, but I can’t. We’ll just chalk it up to me being strange..lol

So, I started my year covering parts of Florida and I logged in a few miles and a few hotel rooms along the way and I began my strange ritual of adding up the numbers to every hotel room. Each time they added up to the number “6”. At first, I didn’t think much about it, just, that’s kinda cool, wish I was at a casino betting it all on the number “6” a few times…lol

However, as the days went by filled with great Conecuh Sausage dogs, conversations, music, and the opportunity of meeting amazing people, the number “6” just kept popping up. I was checking my social media, and one of the firefighters I met replied to one of my post by only typing the number “6”. When that happened, it prompted me to look up the meaning of the number. We’ve all heard the phrase, “I’ve got your six”… but I had never looked up a full definition.

You can find a lot of definitions about various things when you actually search for it, but the first definition that popped up in my search said this…” The number 6 is the embodiment of the heart. It represents unconditional love and support. It’s role is to use its heart and soul to serve others.”

Given what I was doing, I immediately thought, “wow”, how cool is that”. On a deeper thought, I felt it was a sign or maybe a really good reminder. I’d like to be more like that definition. We need to have that kind of heart don’t we? Even the smallest of things make a difference.

So, regardless of what you believe about signs or having some superstitious ways, we do get reminders almost every day of important things. I think the key is being aware of them, and just not giving up. The number six is not regarded as a perfect number, but it’s the number that seems to represent the best of our hearts intent. We can be of service. We can be supportive, and we can “have each others back” when we choose to make that happen.

I’m sure I’ll still be adding up hotel room numbers too….looking for the next sign I guess…lol… Hope you are too.

Love big, see you down the road!

First Thoughts

I wake up pretty much the same way every morning. I’m betting you do too. Even when I’m on the road, I search for a routine….. Coffee. Seriously though, well, yes coffee is a serious thing in the morning for me:)….but, this is the question I have on my mind.. what’s your first thoughts?

I’ve found over the years there’s windows of time where we’re not consumed with the “responsibilities” of our lives. I’m not saying that they go away. I’m not even saying that they are bad things either. What I’m saying is there seems to be these “freeing moments” especially in the morning. I have my coffee, and a few minutes.

I love those few minutes too. I’ve figured out why they work so well. Our bodies are not designed to go from 0-90. We can. We have before, but it’s not the norm. What makes the mornings so good is the fact that we aren’t ready for the stress of the day yet. As a matter of fact, unless interrupted, we simply don’t care. This whole experience gives us these moments of clarity. You’re waking up to a new day, you have your coffee, and you have your “first thoughts”.

My first thoughts are always about family. Sandi, the girls, other family members, and then friends that became family, etc. It’s normally a time of reflection too. It’s also a great time for settling on a decision after sleeping on it. It’s also the best view I’m gonna have of the world around me. My mom always said, “it will look better in the morning.” Most things aren’t as bad as we think they are after a good nights sleep. And, if they are that bad, most of the time we can deal with it better, the day after. This morning though, I was interrupted and naturally my first thoughts were impacted.

First thoughts seem to say a lot about where we’re at inside, and what’s important. As I was saying, I was interrupted this morning. So were you. Even if you don’t live in the path of this storm and horrific tornado damage, like so many others before it, you found out about it, when you got your first cup of coffee. I immediately started texting a few a friends to check on them. I’ve had the opportunity to meet folks from different places and I wanted to know they were ok. I thought about the families who are waking up to death and destruction and my heart breaks for them. My thoughts and prayers are with them in my deepest of first thoughts today. I’m sure you feel the same way.

First thoughts. What are your first thoughts? It’s probably not the latest political news cycle, or the latest spin. It’s probably not even your favorite sports team or entertainment interest….I’m betting your “first thoughts” hold a lot more value and positive purpose. I think we need more of our “first thoughts” don’t you?

Prayers for all those in the path of the recent tornadoes.

Love you Big..

One bad memory & a Big Thank you.. 1st Responders

There are moments in our lives that you can’t forget. Some of them you probably wish you could, or at least put in a box, nail it shut, never to be revisited. The year 2020 will be one of those years we’d probably just as soon put in the rear view, and never look back, and we’re still working through 2021. I wanted to take a minute and write this blog to try and express my gratitude for the men and women I’ve had a chance to meet face to face through 2020 and on into this year. I can promise you this, I won’t stop sharing these opportunities as long as I can.

I was twenty-four years old, and about to move to Nashville for the first time when I was riding in a truck headed to a job site when we were rear ended on I-65 south. The man driving had been working a 16 hour shift and fell asleep. I was in the passengers side, no seat belt, and thankfully he didn’t hit us squarely. He actually woke up in time to try to swerve around us but instead struck the drivers side which caused us to spin sideways, then flip a few times before landing down the embankment, and stopping between two pine trees on it’s side. The drivers side.

As I was trying to climb off Mr. Clarence, the driver, and the man I was working with, I remember the smoke coming out around the vehicle. The adrenaline was pumping through my body, and I was desperately trying to get off of him and climb out of the truck. I climbed out of the window and fell to the ground. I looked up the hill to the road and then turned back to the truck to see if Mr. Clarence was alright. He was a tough older man and he was making his way behind me. We helped each other up to the interstate. The truck didn’t erupt in flames, but of course, we didn’t know what was going to happen.

There were people who stopped to help, and someone called 911. The man who hit us stopped and was frantically trying to help us as well. Looking back, I felt for him too. He was not the bad guy, he was just tired, and trying to finish a shift. He was driving a half ton truck delivering tires to the truckers just a few miles more down the road. Isn’t it funny how one moment can alter the course of so many things?

I was supposed to move to Nashville the next week. I was supposed to record my first 5 song demo project with Ray Pillow ( Grand Old Opry member & Lee Greenwood’s first manger) Needless to say, that didn’t happen. As the adrenaline flowed through our bodies, I had no idea what my body had experienced. I would find that out in the short term, and again a few years later. Mr. Clarence was the one that I was most worried about at the time. You see, when we got back up the hill and sat down on the side of the road, I realized somehow in all the flipping and turning, his ear had been severed, and both of us would feel like we’d be beaten by 5 guys the next morning.

The troopers came, the paramedics came, the fire fighters came, and we were placed on stretchers headed for the hospital. The 1st responders do this everyday. They choose to put other people first everyday. I learned a lot that day too. I learned that being young didn’t mean I was bullet proof. I learned that maybe I should wear a seat belt. I learned that “ I “ ain’t in control. Oh, we keep learning these lessons again, but that was a major moment. I was out of commission for a few months. I had nerve damage, I had bruises, a chipped bone floating around in my back, and a few years later I learned I had a chipped vertebrae in my neck. I was blessed I didn’t lose my life, a limb, or have other major injuries that would keep me from doing so many things I loved. I was thankful….more than I can say.

That’s one reason why the past few months have been such a blessing for me. This wouldn’t be the last time I’ve experienced the need for help, but it was a memory I won’t ever forget. I know, you can relate, and you may be thinking of your own life moments like this one.

As many of you know, I’ve been able to stop in and share the love of Conecuh Sausage with many 1st responders during this period of time. It’s not that we hadn’t done these types of events before, but given the circumstances, it has been paramount to us. I have had the chance to meet so many men and woman, who for some reason, decided to serve in these occupations. Firefighters, EMS personnel, police officers, troopers, 911 personnel, etc.

I’ve been in KY, FL, AR, SC, AL, NC, GA, MS, TN, LA, TX, and many other places….I’ve had conversations with all kinds of folks and we all share the same goals, dreams, and desires. It’s been a privilege to play a small role in saying thank you. These folks don’t do it for the money. They don’t do it for fame. They don’t do it for a big retirement. They do it because they have an amazing capacity and desire to serve. They don’t even talk about it. It’s another day for them. It’s a commitment and I believe it’s a calling.

One thing is sure though….the day you need them, won’t be just “another day” for you! It will be a day that may determine whether you have another one….

I salute you….We salute you! And, we’ll be seeing you, sharing the love, and saying thank you, every time we get the chance!

Love you Big!

The "other side" of you

I haven’t been in the head space to write a blog till this week. Creative people are always working in their minds but we need structure, we need to be intentional about planning to “do things”. I loved the planning part, which kinda makes me an odd ball, but I do. I miss the time Terry and I would sit together and plan the next week, the next month, the next event. He was so good at it. We would sit down at a restaurant for b’fast, or over my kitchen table or his, and spend the time. Grief is a process, and when you’re in the business I’m in where time doesn’t stand still, tasks and events are happening with or without you, it is both a blessing, and at times, could be an obstacle.

The blessing is you move forward. You get to share with people “in the moment” while you’re working, and while you’re literally “working” through your feelings simultaneously. The obstacle, if you let it, can be moving forward and keeping everything inside, bottled up, and that can lead to a dark, sometimes explosive place.

Everywhere I had scheduled to be since Terry passed away, I’ve had the opportunity to share the story of my friend with new people. Recently, I was in Louisville KY, and while doing an acoustic show in front of a great group, I told them about “my Terry” and asked them, “Do you have a Terry in your life?, and I’m betting that you do, or maybe you are the Terry in someone’s life”. This sparked many conversations after the show was over. Folks were sharing stories about people in their lives they were close to, and some they lost. The thing is, we’re all going to die. It’s not like it’s a secret. It’s a circle, it’s a process, and we don’t know when it’s our time to leave. When it happens, there are two groups. The ones left behind, and ones that moved forward.

Terry and I enjoyed many conversations over 15 plus years. This week I was in a therapy session. Yes, a therapy session. I would recommend for anyone. We talk about dealing with the spiritual part of life….You know, we spend time exercising our bodies, dieting, ( well, some of us..lol) and many other health habits to live a better life, but we often fail to work on our spirit, our hearts, and minds. That verse in the Bible, that says “the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak”……that happens more times than we’d like to admit. While I was expressing my thoughts, I remembered something Terry and I had talked about. It’s a question I heard while listening to a podcast on leadership. It’s a question we should all ask ourselves.

Terry was a planner by nature. He believed in the statement, “If you fail to plan, you can plan to fail”. However, our planning sessions weren’t just for work or some future event. They were therapy sessions too. Neither of us were or would ever be “perfect people”. We would often talk about areas of our life that we wanted to improve on, and asked ourselves, “What can we do, to be better?”. One of the strongest questions I now keep in the forefront of my mind before I have a conversation, an interaction, or collaboration with anyone is, “What is it like, being on the other side of me?”

I wonder how much better the world would be if we all asked ourselves this question? Before you type that ugly text, or before you react to someone else’s misguided anger, or before we post that comment that is over the line of opinion and into the line of disrespect or hate. If we asked ourselves, “What is it like being on the other side of me? Is it pleasant, is it respectful, is it courageous, loving, kind, bold, positive, negative, thoughtful, strong, loyal, loving or hateful……What is it ?

I’ll tell you what looking in the mirror and asking this question is…..…..sobering.

It’s not easy being on the “other side of us” sometimes, is it? That’s why we all need a lot grace to get through this life. We can, however, live a better life when we’re bold enough to ask the hard questions. We can live with fewer regrets and more smiles, more happy memories to pass on, while we wait till it’s our turn to pass through…..”What is it it like, being on the other side of you?”

Love you, love you Big!

Getting Real with Terry

It’s been quite a time hasn’t it? I haven’t posted a blog since my father in law passed away back in November. For those of you that follow what I do you’ve figured out that my blog is my way of sharing deeper thoughts, expressing a point of view or sharing a detailed story or passion. Which is why I named the page “Passion”. I also don’t share political views or seek to argue. I enjoyed debating in school, but right now, its seems we’ve lost the will and ability to do it. Today, however, I’m probably going to go right up to the line. In today’s climate I might even offend someone out there, but I promise that is not my intention. Anytime we put someone on the defensive, they lose the ability to hear. Hearing loss immediately happens, and it doesn’t come back very easily.

Let me tell you a story of my own hearing loss. Almost 16 years ago I met a man named Terry Spivey. He was not afraid to speak to me about something that I needed to hear. He was also the most unlikely of guys to confront me. I had plenty of people in my life that tried to encourage me after life dealt me a pretty unfair hand, coupled with my own mistakes ( which came easy for me..lol) . I didn’t listen to them. Maybe I figured they were “supposed to tell me those things”. Maybe I just wanted to move on. Whatever the reason, I didn’t respond to their admonitions or attempts at persuading me.

In short, I had moved into another phase of life. The first time Terry approached me was in a church parking lot. Freedom Community church was just getting off the ground. I volunteered to help clean part of the building every other weekend. It fit my “out of town” work schedule. It was also safe and without interaction with people. Plus, I enjoyed it. I have always loved to work with my hands. I moved my mop bucket into our “sanctuary” and saw the guitar that our music leader left on the make shift stage. Assuming I was alone, I entertained myself with a few songs I had written or just wanted to sing for a few minutes.

Later after I finished I was on my way to my car when I heard a voice say “Hello, I’m Terry Spivey”. That conversation lead to many, many more. Terry is not by nature the “outgoing” type. He’s the guy that would much rather work behind the scenes. He became convicted that he had to move outside his comfort zone. He’s not always the most tactful person, but he’s certainly not rude. If you have extremely thin skin, it might be painful at first. I don’t have thin skin. We entertainers get thick skin pretty quick, or we will just quit. As hard as we might try, it’s impossible to please everyone….because, we are all broken and sometimes that broken person is not ready to be reached. That is why you can’t take it personal. You just need to take it back to them later.

Terry asked me one question. “What are you doing with your life?” That’s what I heard. What he really asked was, “What are doing cleaning the building?” Why don’t you volunteer to do something with the music and theater program we have for kids and adults?” “I heard your concert a few minutes ago and it was great, you clearly have a past, would you mind telling me about it?’

I had never met this man until that point, and while I was very nice, I didn’t feel like answering his question. I gave him the classic passive/aggressive blow off, got in my car and drove home. My wife Sandi and I joined a small group later that was lead by, yes, you guessed it, Terry Spivey. Small groups are just people that want to gather once a week or as often as we decide, talk about our faith, pray, but most of all, be real with each other. Life is not about the photo opt, although I love sharing the good times… we all do, and there’s nothing wrong with that…..but we know life is hard… I liked Terry, but the funny thing is, we were nothing alike, yet, we had unshakable core beliefs that brought us together ( interesting concept isn’t it?). Then as time moved on, we found many things we agreed on, enjoyed, and had in common. Funny how that works, if you give it time.

I remember telling Sandi on our way home from one of our first small group meetings that I liked that guy but I’d probably never be able to “drink a beer with him”…..(as we say in the south) Meaning, he probably wouldn’t become a close friend. Well, I was wrong. Very wrong. Terry Spivey shared a book with us in our small group called “The Dream Giver”. That book helped change my mind about why I was here and helped me understand my feelings. Being a person of faith, believing in an after life, and trying to figure out why I felt the way I did, and what I needed to do with my life was paramount to really moving forward. The way it was communicated to me through the book, helped lead me to a better place.

Terry and I have had many conversations since we started working together. We’ve learned a lot from each other. He wanted to be a manager. He wanted to do something better. He wanted to be a part of something. He has dreams too. I could make a list of things that I’ve been able to accomplish, not by myself but because I decided to do what he was pushing me to do. Don’t ever give up on your dream. It’s not yours. It was given to you by the God that created you, to do as you choose. I know, I know some of you don’t believe that and it’s ok. I’d love for you to change your mind, but it’s your choice.

We made choices this past year too didn’t we? Some of us chose to share our feelings in many different ways and I believe we’ve been manipulated more than usual by some of the “powers that be”…..it’s above my pay grade as to the how, etc…but it’s easy to see, don’t you think? You and I both know that’s true. It’s been an amazingly tough time on every level for our generation whatever plans and hopes we had for 2020 were changed…

Like many of you, I was excited about the year. Then, Covid-19, followed by a storm of other things that lead us to a place where nothing, and I mean, nothing wasn’t politicized. I jokingly told a friend that the pair of socks I put on yesterday could possibly have an underlining political meaning that I was totally unaware of…:) Seriously, though, it’s been tough on all of us. Terry and I doubled down on what we have in common. We wanted to “do something”. I do not believe in the word “no”, very often. There has to be something good or what are we doing? At the end of the day, What. Are. You. Doing?

That’s not a pleasant question to asked. It puts you on the defensive. Can cause hearing loss….but you know, the question still needs to be asked, doesn’t it? That’s one reason why I love Terry. He’s never been afraid to asked the hard question. He never wants to “hurt your feelings” either. He wants you to succeed, or he wouldn’t asked the question!

So, fast forward to the here and now. I adjusted my plans. Y’all know I represent one of ( and to me) the best companies in the world. I love good food, and I love promoting Coneuch Sausage. I wrote a jingle for it too you know:)…..this is yet, another thing that probably wouldn’t have come true if Terry Spivey had not asked the hard questions. We decided to do 1st Responder events, go to grocery stores, blood drives, do multiple ads, work where we could, with who we could, during this pandemic, and do it safely and within the guidelines of wherever we went. It has been both successful and fulfilling. It has also kept me sane.

The irony is this…Terry wasn’t on the road. He worked behind the scenes. Terry contracted Covid. Terry is the healthiest 57 year old I know. He’s not overweight, no health conditions, exercises, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t drink ( only if I can find a beer he likes:) and is the general picture of health..He hasn’t been around big crowds. He wore a mask at the grocery store, etc. His chances of getting this, were slim to none. Yet he did…then it got worse. It’s been a nightmare experience for the family and for friends. Covid has caused a serious infection in Terry’s lungs.… It just is what it is. It’s a micro organism that found it’s way into my friend’s body and it’s giving him the hardest battle he’s physically faced.

Terry’s a fighter. We are praying that he will walk out of that hospital. We need Terry to keep asking the hard questions. Terry and I had multiple conversations about how we’d approach living our lives through this crisis. I know for certain he would want you to Live. Your. Life. If you are not living…..then, what are you doing? That doesn’t mean you don’t go about it the right way….and it also doesn’t mean there won’t be risk. Living requires it. We know this…we just sometimes don’t want to say it out loud. Plus, we have each other. If you’re a believer in Jesus, then, that “Love your Neighbor” thing is not a suggestion. It’s a way of life.

We set up a page called “Prayers for Terry Spivey”on Facebook. If you’d like to find out more feel free to do so. The family has also set up a gofund me account. Terry’s circumstances are unique to say the least. For example, he had to be life-flighted to another hospital in Macon, Ga that had an ecmo machine for further treatment. I can tell you this, Terry would not like the attention. The thing is, he’s helped so many behind the scenes that it’s our turn….

I hope as we move forward, we can once again debate, laugh, love, disagree, agree to disagree, and get our hearing back, our love for our country, our friends, our families, and each other …it’s a tall order. It’s going to require us to open up to the hard questions, and it’s going to require….”the doing” Hope y’all have a great weekend…and it’s one day closer to the light.

Love you, love you Big

Tribute to a "Baller" James Donald "Bubba" Ganus

I woke up this morning around 5:50am. My actions were probably similar to most of yours. I reached over and checked my phone for the time, then glanced at any notifications I might have on social media, and as I made my way to the bathroom, I checked my email. It’s part of our lives and for some of us, it’s part of our job. The only thing different this morning was it was another “first” for our family. A first day without someone. My father-in-law passed away yesterday at his home. Almost exactly 24 hours to the minute we stood in his living room holding hands, praying, as my wife’s father, James Donald Ganus, left this world.

Mr. Ganus was born on March 20th, 1937 in Andalusia, Alabama. He’s a part of a generation of men and women that experienced much and contributed much more. Most people called him “Don” but the grandchildren called him “Bubba” and of course, we “the adults” followed suit. I wanted this blog to be more upbeat today. I’m not minimizing the heartbreak of losing someone you cherish. We all have or will at some point in this life. Today, I’m going to keep it light and keep it bright.

I met Mr. Ganus on the baseball diamond because that’s where I met his daughter. The three of us had a love for the game, only, Mr. Ganus, had played professional baseball for 9 seasons. Bubba was a pro! There is no doubt in my mind that God gives us all a dose of something special. For some it seems He gives a few doses. For “Bubba”, he gave him the all out athletic, baller, eye hand coordination that every athlete would desire.

He graduated Andalusia high school in 1955. He was short, but he was tough, fast, and excelled in sports. For his time, and his era, he accomplished much. We were able to see him elected to the Andalusia High School Hall of Fame just a few years ago. His senior year ( 1955) he was offered a football scholarship to play for the University of Alabama’s Crimson Tide, and I believe he was also offered a scholarship to play for Mississippi State. He opted to play professional baseball with the Milwaukee Braves and was drafted out of high school. I like to explain to younger kids that they didn’t have “free agency” back then. Bubba did really well and his stats looked very good, but after 9 seasons he came home to Alabama and found a good woman ( yes, I’m trying to score more brownie points with my mother-in-law….lol ) . He settled down, started a career with Liberty National Insurance Company, and started a family. …..He married Barbara Kimbro, from Dozier, Al, and soon had two girls, Kim and Sandi.

Mr. Ganus’s athletic ability didn’t end after pro baseball. He took up golf and became a scratch golfer on both sides of the ball. Yes, he could play just as well right handed as he could left handed. He won a few golf tournaments, and enjoyed competition. That’s just one of things he passed on to his girls. Both of them are competitive and athletically inclined. He believed in competition, free markets, and fairness. Whatever he did, it was 100%. I’m going to leave you with just one of many “Bubba” stories, and I bet some part of it will remind you of someone in your life.

Like I said, I met Sandi, my wife, when I was 13 years old, and soon met her Dad. Mr. Ganus had a firm hand shake, and the phrase, “Hey partner, how are doing?” He was intimidating to a young teenager. Growing up in a small town in the summers we had one thing and that was baseball. We had a small park with a few fields and it served as a gathering spot for teenagers. it wasn’t long till they built a small batting cage. We would turn up the speed to 80 to 85 miles per hour to see who could hit it. It came at you from a short distance too. Mr. Ganus volunteered to come by and give me and my buddy, Jeff Conway, a hitting lesson. He had watched a few of our games.

So, we met him at the batting cage one hot, south Alabama, summer day. He showed up in his business suit, and dress shoes. We looked at other like, really? This is the guy that played pro ball ?, that’s gonna show us how to hit ? He was very confident and smooth. He took off his tie, took off his coat, and walked into the cage wearing his dress pants and dress shoes. He looked at us and said, “crank it up as high as it will go”. We did just that, and then the first pitch meet a well swung bat that roped it down the first base line. He was batting left handed. He proceeded to do the same thing to every pitch that came his way. He hit shot after shot. It seemed effortless and consistent.

When he finished, he said, “ I had to show you, so you would listen”. Keep in mind, he was around 47 years old at that time ( which ain’t old by the way..:). But, needless to say, he wasn’t 27, and probably hadn’t swung a baseball bat in 20 years.

We had a few things in common. We had a handful of things we felt different about, but these are some of the things that are unshakable. We both love baseball, love Jesus, love the Alabama Crimson Tide, and we both love one girl very much. He was one of kind, and we’re gonna miss him.

Till then….Love you, Love you Big!

Mr. Rogers Neighborhood

I really love what I do, every part of it, however, we all need to be inspired, especially today. I have my own list of leaders & heroes, and I’ve had the chance to meet some of them. They come from all walks of life, occupations, careers, and back grounds. I especially need it with the challenges we’re living through today, don’t you? The other night I was winding down and chose to watch Tom Hanks movie, “Mr. Rogers”.

Mr. Rogers became a part of the American story and influenced thousands of children as well as adults. For some of us, he was a part of our childhood. He passed away in 2003 a month away from what would have been his 75th birthday. If you haven’t seen the movie, take the time, I don’t think you will be disappointed.

We’ve had incredible leaders throughout our history. Some of them have been warriors. Some of them have been larger than life personalities that captivated us with their unwavering spirit of persistence, perseverance, boldness, and bravery. Some of them, if not most of them, are right there in your hometown. Some of them are friends and family. All of them have made, and are making a difference in our lives every single day. They are solid. They don’t waver with public opinion or sway with the wind.

I don’t know what Mr. Rogers would think if he were alive today but given the way he lived, I think I have an idea. His type of leadership is often overlooked at face value. It’s even considered by some as “bubble gum”….the phrase we often attach to “feel good” songs. Anyone who thinks this way, wasn’t paying attention. The truth is Mr. Rogers, his life, his work, and his example was anything but bubble gum. If your leadership style and personality is like a “Mr. Rogers” then this blog is for you. If you’re not a “Mr. Rogers” type, well, it’s not the end of the world, however, you might want to take a few notes. Mr. Rogers worked at it every day. He was brilliantly strong with his messages for children and he made it a priority in his life to care about others. He was a rock in his craft and left a legacy that will never be antiquated.

This year is a recipe gone bad. We’re living through a time where no one escapes the verbal beat downs, the constant back and forth, the tiresome news feeds of the political warfare that are void of honest debate and possible solutions. At the moment, there are real issues and the worst of who we are is on display. If you’re the quiet, strong type, this is your time to shine. If you live by the rule, “Talk is Cheap, but Actions speak volumes” then “Mr. Rogers” has given us a life lived example. It takes a lot of fortitude, self control and maturity to know when to speak, not to speak, how to speak, and most of all the ability to stay focused on what you’re doing. Words are powerful but actions…..well, your actions will be felt not just heard…..Leaders are judged by their actions more than words. it’s sobering. It’s humbling and I don’t know about you, but I’m praying my actions will be the right ones. I’m hoping that each day, I’m tying to do something positive.

Mr. Rogers…you sir, have inspired me even more now than you did back then.

“It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood, a beautiful day in the neighborhood, oh want you be, oh want you be my neighbor”

Love you, love you Big!

Corner Stop

When I was a kid my bicycle was the first ride to freedom. I had two goals. The first goal was to ride up to the Junior Foods ( corner stop) to play my favorite video game. Yes, that’s a thing of the past but growing up in a small town during this time supplied great memories. The second “road trip” was to ride to the Dairy Queen that was located right down the hill from the court house, and get a milkshake.

Those two things I wanted to do most existed because someone decided to go into the service business. I believe that we come into this world hard wired in some ways. I’m not saying we don’t have choices, I’m just saying that we might be predisposed to want to follow a certain dream, and do a certain kind of thing if we take the risk and leap of faith.

This year is shaping up to be a real “Humm Dinger”…..it’s effecting every part of our lives. We’ve had to think outside the box….A LOT….especially for those people who put that crazy dream and idea out there for the world to love or hate. The events of the past few months have taken our test of faith to a new level. The locally owned restaurant business is one of the worst hit during this time of crisis, followed by many others.

Naturally, there are many folks who took a different path and purpose with their lives and that’s a good thing. We need everyone doing what they do best. However, if you fall into that camp, then here are a few things to consider and think about next time you see your neighbor. The one that owns the barber shop where you get your ears lowered, or that favorite “whole in the wall” you love to dine in because the foods off the chain and they treat you like family. Those people and places you may have taken for granted. They exist because we live in a free society and they made the choice to follow a dream.

Chances are they saved up a little money and took out a loan, and then another loan, or went through the ungodly amount of paperwork required to fill out that “Small Business Loan application” just to put that shingle up and get started. Chances are they failed the first two or three times too; suffering through armchair quarterbacks and all the “I told you so’s” . Nevertheless, they kept going. Then they finally opened the doors only to be hit with every tax known to man just to do that thing they love. That dream they wanted to build. From making payroll, to trying to provide health care benefits to employees, to employee retirement options, payroll taxes, business licenses, fees, property tax, equipment tax, buying equipment, and the list just continues and we haven’t even started talking about the cost of actually “running the business'“.

For them, their business is their life. Their way of providing for their own families and living with a purpose. It’s not some slogan. They don’t have sick days and paid vacations unless they pay for it. They don’t have many holidays or weekends off. For most, even when they are “not there” they are still “there”. These folks do not want your sympathy either. They know they could’ve done something different with their lives. On the toughest days, they asked themselves that very question. They’ve heard it all before when times get tough. It usually comes from that educated guy with the degree from Harvard who is always right but has never taken a risk in his life. You know the type. Yeah, that type.

No, at the end of the day, these folks do what they do because they love freedom and they love people ( now, sometimes they don’t like dealing with all of us, when we’ve had a bad day and they get our order wrong) BUT, for the most part, they love being of service to others, doing a good job, and making our world a better place. They make our communities a better place too. How many of us wore a jersey with a local businesses name on it because they sponsored our team ? If you think they did that simply for “advertisement”, then you have been mislead.

These folks are some of the strongest people I know. They are daily problem solvers, quit witted, and they have to have a sense of humor. You have to adjust, re-think, evolve, change, and change again, if you want to survive and keep doing what you love. It’s like breathing to the small business owner. It’s a passion that will not expire till he or she expires. They sure labeled it right when they placed these types of businesses in the “service” category. Their entire focus is providing a service to someone.

This year alone we have all lived through something that an insurance policy won’t cover, and neither will a government “bridge to more debt loan” fix. For the small business guy in your community, he’s out there in the storm right now just trying to keep it steady and get to the other side.

I loved that corner stop and that Dairy Queen. I still remember it. I loved our record store, the barber shop, and that locally owned Western Auto too. As for the Dairy Queen, I can still taste that shake in my mind and see the hands and smile that served it. Times have changed, the names and franchises may have changed, but the dreamer and entrepreneur journey hasn’t changed at all. It is a major part of what makes our country great. I know some of them may not make it. There are no perfect solutions during this time.

Stay strong out there….you are my people, our people….and many of you are an extension of family! I have traveled a lot of miles and met many of you. I have played music, entertained, and become part of an event in your business, community, and supported and promoted your dream….because without your dream, I wouldn’t be able to share mine. We wouldn’t be the same without you!

Love you, Love you Big!

Mama Sikes 1900-1994

Clara Lou Sikes was born on March 17th, 1900. She passed away December 1994. In the picture I’ve attached, she is located right behind her mother’s left shoulder ( or looking directly at the picture she is to the right behind her mother) . Her parents are dressed in black. She was my Great Grandmother. I believe she could have lived longer but after losing her son and my grandfather in June of 1993, she said, “I will not out live another child of mine”. She picked out her dress, her casket, and prepaid her funeral cost. I was really blessed to know some of my grandparents, and blessed to know her. Think of your strongest female character and add bluntness and compassion and you’ve got Mama Sikes. I bet you have a family member that resembles her too.

I think of her often but always on her birthday. Given this unique period in our life with the current situation of the coronavirus, I thought of her life in more detail.

I loved spending time with her. I was her lawn mowing service from the ages of 9-12. Daddy would drop me off with the push mower and a gas can. She lived in government housing the last 20 plus years of her life. Her husband, William Elliot Sikes, and my great grandfather, passed away in 1971. She was fiercely independent. I had the perfect gig too. It was 3 dollars a yard, and I mowed 5 of them. Plus, I got a free lunch :) That job came to an end when the housing authority started included it in their rent. My first lesson in entrepreneurship…lol

She was married in 1916, at age 16. She lived through WWI, WWII, Korean War, Vietnam, Desert Storm, 14 United States Presidents, the 19th amendment, civil rights, and countless historical events, and Yes, health epidemics. There was Typhoid Fever ( 10,770 deaths), Spanish Flu ( 675,000 deaths), Asian Flu ( 70,000 deaths), Diphtheria ( 15,520 deaths), Polio ( 3,145 deaths), and even the measles outbreak, which like some of these, lasted a few years. It lasted for a decade with a fluctuating death rate between 2000-10,000 deaths per year.

Mama Sikes had witnessed a lot. She had her opinions too. For those in my family, I know we all had our own unique relationship with her. These are some my memories. She liked to watch sports. Football, baseball, and especially golf. She told me all the time I needed to play golf because they could make money longer than other athletes. She was pretty smart. I believe she had a crush on Greg Norman. She pulled for him every time he had a chance to win. She said she liked his hats and he was very good.

She grew up in a family of share croppers in the small community of Bethel located near Glenwood, Alabama in the southern part of Alabama. She had five children. Two of them died as infants in the first two months of their short lives. Both of them were born between the years of 1917 & 1920 ( during the Spanish flu) and died due to illness. I’ve heard stories of her working in the fields while at the same time nursing her children and never missing a beat. She was a tough woman. She also managed to get through high school. Back then, that would have been through the 9th grade. I would go by regularly to visit and check on her after I was old enough to drive. I will cherish those memories and her cooking. God knows I’d love to see her again.

So, if she were alive today, what would she tell me? I’m pretty sure I know the answer to that one. Mama Sikes was certain about what she believed. She believed in God, work, faith, and she had a very good sense of humor. She was our version of “driving Miss Daisy”.

She caught rides every where she needed to go. Out of all the things she did in her life, she never drove a car. She never had a drivers license, but that didn’t stop her from telling you how to drive! My mama would take her to town, about every week to run her errands. One time she stayed at our house for a few days to recover from a surgery. She slept in my bedroom. Mom asked me to check on her before going to bed one of those nights. I had never seen Mama Sikes with her hair down until that night. As I approached the room I heard her singing softly to herself, “Amazing Grace”, and she said her prayers. I waited. Then, I opened the door to see her long white hair laying across the bed spread. I asked her if she needed anything. She said, “No, I’m fine now”.

It’s not hard to imagine what she would say and do if she were here. After all, she’s already done it. She was always looking out for children and their well being. If you were grown she’d tell you to take care of yourself and be careful. She was also proactive and tough minded. She was a doer. After all she iived through, and all she endured, I’m sure she would tell me and anyone else, “you’ll be fine now”

RIP Mama Sikes I love you and miss you!

Love you, love you Big! #staycalm #staystrong #keepthefaith

People remember People who love

This week started with the loss of Kobe Bryant, his daughter, and a total of 9 people in a tragic helicopter crash. The following days we learned more about everyone who died, their families, and the impact it had for those who knew them.

I might offend someone in this blog, and, if I do, I want you to know that I love you. As I thumbed through my news feed I saw all kinds of comments. Most of them were very good, encouraging, and heartfelt. Most people like myself paid tribute to the impact of Kobe’s life and as we learned about the others, we made post and comments about them as well. It was a unifying moment. A moment that reminded us how short life can be and what matters most.

DISCLAIMER: ( We are not always going to agree, somebody is going to be more right or more wrong in any given moment of time….Regardless, ONE thing can be true. Your greatest adversary can mourn your loss if you had the following: NOW back to my blog:)

I want to address the one “kind” of comment I didn’t really like, and at best, I understood that it wasn’t meant entirely in a negative way, however, it struck me the wrong way. These are the post I’m referring to: “Boy, nothing against Kobe, but he’s just a basketball player, it would be nice if we celebrated ordinary people who died, like we do celebrities” ……and, there were other posts along these lines that even brought in religion and faith as an attempt to remind us of what’s important. At face value, I get it. We don’t “seem” to bring light to the many others who have sacrificed, and are worthy of our praise and prayerful mourning or if you are a person of faith, some post suggest we don’t speak about Jesus or our belief in God as we should……The thing is all these comments are not true. Here’s why…

A few moons and sunrises ago, I moved to Nashville, TN, got a day job at a cabinet shop and worked with my first publishing company. I was pursuing my dream. I met a guy named Ken Dugan. Coach Dugan was a legendary baseball coach for Lipscomb University. He won 1,137 games in 37 seasons ( 1960-1996) He was also a batting champion back in his playing days with a slugging percentage of .824. I met him while singing downtown at what was then “Davis Kidd book store”. It was off of 21st and was a scene for singer/songwriter nights. Coach Dugan took the time to tell me how much he enjoyed my part in the night, and that I should never quit singing or writing. It was also what he said in the course of our brief meeting that stuck with me while talking about songs and music. He was a big music fan, and we had the love for baseball in common too. He said, “People remember the ones that loved”…..those are some of the truest words ever spoken. He passed away in 2000 and believe me, he left a legacy of much more than a baseball player and coach.

I personally believe in God. However, it doesn’t matter to me if you share a different belief because that statement from Coach Dugan rings true for all of us, no matter what you believe concerning life after death. WE are all given what I call a platform. YOUR very own “platform”. It may consist of your family, friends, co-workers, local town hall, church, school, or civic support group. Your platform might grow to reach millions of people like Kobe Bryant’s platform. Whatever platform you have, the people you leave behind are going to remember one thing. Did you love?

Plenty of celebrities have died and hardly no one mourned the loss. Kobe Bryant was not a perfect human being. Who is? Apparently, the verse is true, “love covers a multitude of mistakes”……that’s for all of us. It’s obvious he made the most of his platform from the outpouring of those he touched in a positive way that went far beyond “being a basketball player”…….no one is elevating him to a level because of his celebrity status. No one is forcing hundreds maybe thousands of people in L.A. to stand in vigil and mourn the loss of another human being. And Finally, NO ONE is saying his life was more important than the others who died with him or any person that dies…..He just happened to make the most of his “Platform”……NO different than you or me. The numbers of people we reach or not what’s important. It’s the fact that we reach them in a positive way.

My question is for you and me…..what is your platform? Who do you reach every day? Are you going to be mourned? It’s a sobering question. If you’re like me, you might say, “Man, I think so, I try hard, I hope so, I’ve made some mistakes, I can do better, etc…..Well there’s good news for you and me. WE can do better. Everyday we have a chance to love the people around us better than the day before. The people we reach from our very own platform. There’s only one question for us.

Did. You. Chose….the impact of love to leave behind?

Love is hard, love is kind, love is passionate, and love is tough, and, we have all heard this before….”Love is the greatest of all things”

Have a great weekend!

Love you, Love you Big!

Resolutions

Well, it’s that time isn’t it? Time for “New Year’s Resolutions”. Nothing bad about that. We’ve probably all done this before. Maybe we made a list or committed ourselves to make a particular change in our lives and this was the year we would follow through with it. I’ve seen people post all kinds of resolutions. Some of them revolve around exercise and better health, or a new career, or better relationships and personal goals to try to reach. All of them are good. It’s the “follow through” that’s tough right?

I like to look up words. Sometimes it’s good to read a definition even if you think you already know what it means. There’s something about reading the definition that provokes thought. Thank God for Webster. He’s a smart cat:) It seems the origin of the word is Latin “resolvere” which means to “loosen or release”. The English meaning is described as“ to decide to do or not to do something; find a solution for a dispute”.

My resolutions have evolved over the years. I’m sure yours have too. So, here’s my “New Year’s Resolutions”.

1. Find the good….cause it’s there

2. Look to mend fences, and if they can’t be mended, then build a gate, and keep it unlocked

3. Keep the faith.

4. Make plans, but live in the moment

5. Keep a smile handy

6. Be KInd

7. Be bold

8. Laugh….a lot

9. Do “it” with a purpose

10. Leave it All on the field

I think we all make resolutions whether we consciously write them down or not. We all decide things everyday. Whether to “loosen or release”, or find a solution or settle a dispute, or do something or do nothing. I guess my “New Year’s Resolutions” are more like daily “every month, every year” resolutions. They have been said before by others in different ways but if my list encourages you then I’m glad…..because your list encourages me too! I’m wishing this year to be a great year of resolve for all of us. Loosen and release, find a solution for a problem, and decide to do something or walk away from the things we can’t resolve with grace.

Happy New Year!

Love you, Love you Big!

Are you "Present" ?

Don’t you love it when you’re trying to talk to someone and they are on their iphone, ipad, or some digital device? Especially when it happens during the time you set aside to spend with them. Before you say YES and get ticked off thinking about it, we better all look in the mirror. You and I both know we’re guilty.

It’s been a while since I’ve written a blog and it’s because I had to give my complete attention to what’s been in front of me the past few weeks. I guess that’s why I’m writing about this today because I’ve been taking notes, living and taking it all in. Plus, I don’t like writing a blog until I feel passionate about what I’d like to share. We’ve had a run of events with Rolling Smoke Nation including our week long trip to Dallas, TX for the World Food Championships. I performed all week with Uncle Hound and the band and it lived up to the hype. I’ve been posting pics, etc on FB and Instagram. We also have something cool in the works I’ll share later, but back to this thought.

One of the things I’ve taken away from this year is the need for us to be “Present”. Whether we mean to or not, nothing says, “you don’t matter to me,” like taking a call or not being able to put down your phone for a conversation. I know, I know, there are exceptions….but I’m not talking about those rare times.

Some of us can remember not having a phone attached to us 24/7. I think we may be the only generation that can actually “feel” the stress it’s caused. It’s kinda like the “frog in the pot of water that is slowly getting hotter” analogy. The frog doesn’t realize it until it’s too late.

For my generation, we were thrown into the water…..we know exactly how hot it is and we’ve been frustrated ever since.

Don’t misunderstand. I’m not anti-change or any of that. I think I wrote a blog about change :) All I’m saying is we need to take back control of our time and be present with the people right in front of us. Baring some real emergency or circumstance, we can wait a few a minutes to make that call, or email, or whatever may be a distraction and focus on that living, breathing, soul filled person in front of us that needs our attention, and needs us to be present.

When Uncle Hound and I started Rolling Smoke, and Rolling Smoke Nation, we talked about this….both of us came from a culture where food and music brought us together. I think now it’s more important than ever. We use the phrase, “The Good Life, One Bite at a Time” because it’s in our song, “Peace, Love, and BBQ”…..my question is simple. “Are you Present?” Because we can’t live the “Good Life” if we’re not.

I’ve got a challenge for us….take a lunch break with someone you need to spend time with and leave your phone in your car. I know, the chances of an emergency happening are so great….( says no one) Look, do you think about that when you’re on a two hour plane flight? No you don’t…..if something happens in that hour you’re at lunch you’re not going to be able to change the outcome by getting notified. The emergency is right there in front of you, and it’s that person you need to give your full attention. He or she values your time for a reason.

Let’s “BE PRESENT”

Love you, Love you Big!!

Underdogs

Well, fall is just around the corner. College football, pro football, and the World Series are going to be here before you know it. I’ve always loved pulling for the underdog. I know it might sound funny given I’m an Alabama fan..lol…BUT, while we do have a winning tradition, I remember the tough times too. As a matter of fact, the first time I moved to Nashville was January 1995 and we were heading into sanctions by the NCAA, scholarships reduced, and the times ahead were dark. I remember getting my first singer/songwriter publishing gig, playing around town, washing dishes so I could sing at the Nashville Palace, and also working at a cabinet shop in Nashville with some great guys who are proud Tennessee fans. They enjoyed the next few years. They even burned one of those Alabama “fan flags” by the dumpster at the shop to celebrate :) It was a different time on music row too…..as the old timers say today, “ Back when IT was STILL music row….lol

Today I’m thinking back a few years, when I was younger; greener too. I auditioned for TNN’s “Charlie Daniel’s Talent Round Up”. I remember going to Opryland Hotel, driving around back where one of the security guards guided me to a small construction trailer. I walked inside and there where two small rooms. One room had a lady sitting at a desk with a form to sign. The other room had a camera. You sang two songs for the camera and left. That was it. It definitely wasn’t what I expected.

It was a few weeks later when I received a letter in the mail telling me I had been chosen for the next season. I was thrilled. Then, about a month after that, I received a letter telling me that the show had been cancelled. I guess you could say, it was just not meant to be. It wasn’t long after that, I moved to Nashville and went to work. I was just like everybody else who pursued the entertainment business. I had a lot to learn. I just knew I belonged somewhere in it.

Have you ever thought of yourself as an underdog? I think in most cases, most of us are. We don’t just “arrive” and have things “work out”. I never thought of life in those terms anyway. Everything I ever attempted growing up took a lot of work, even if I was naturally gifted at it. Maybe for a few folks, the road has a smoother path, but for most of us, the road has some holes in it.

Fast forward to today. I look out my window in deep thought. I think about the things that I was fortunate and blessed to do and be a part of. The things that are happening now. And, yeah, there have been some holes in the road too. I don’t know what it is that makes us feel like the constant “Underdog”. I guess it’s that sense of “I’m not finished yet” or for some, it might be “the world is against me” and I’ve “got to overcome it”. If we’re honest, we’ve all got a chip on our shoulder. I say don’t let it stay there too long. Let the chips fall and keep moving forward. You can’t enjoy being the ‘underdog’ if you wear it on your sleeve everyday. That sleeve’s gonna get heavy. So shake it off, and soak it up! And let’s go do something good!

Because….. Life wouldn’t be amazing without us! #underdogs

Love you, Love you Big!!

Life plans and changes

My plans changed just enough last week…..

When you are on the road, the toughest thing about it are the unexpected events that happen to your friends or family members and you either have the ability to get back, or you don’t.

I asked one of my kids the other day if they believed God managed every day of your life? I know this sounds crazy but we tend to asked the deep questions around our house. I also know some of you reading this just uttered the words in your head, “Well, let’s start with the whole idea about God first?” :) Fair question….however, for the sake of this blog, let’s get back to that discussion at another date; love me anyway, and let’s go with the idea that we believe.

So, my teenage kid said, “Well, I don’t think it’s an all or nothing situation Dad”. I said, “Tell me what you mean”. She said, “Well, I believe at times He does and sometimes it’s just life, and the whole idea is to accept He will take care of you no matter what”……I said, “Ok, I can go with that.” Then the conversation went to the question of Why? Tell me why you feel that way. Do we have examples, experiences, etc…?

I’m the kind of guy that likes to plan. I like to have list everyday and I like to work toward whatever goal I’m trying to accomplish. The thing is though, I don’t live in an “A to B” world. You might not either. In other words, I have to be flexible. In my world, events, meetings, promotional gigs, and many other things get cancelled, rescheduled, run long, run short, people come, people go, and weeks and months seem to fly by because of it. The magic is, when you look back, you can see how it all worked out the way it should have, even during the turbulent patches.

Last week was one of those times for me. We had a slight change in our schedule that allowed me to get back to Nashville earlier. At the beginning of the week, I received a phone call concerning one of my close friend’s mom passing away. It was not expected. She found out her body was taken over with cancer, which was followed by a stroke, and she died soon after that. My friend, and his sister just lost the only parent they have ever known.

I have missed events before because I was working on the road, and each time that’s happened, I knew that despite the timing, I was where I needed to be, and I’ve always found peace in my heart in those moments. This time, I immediately knew. Too many things had happened that gave me the opportunity, and that voice in my heart immediately said, yes.

The schedule was laid out for Ms. Eileen. The viewing was Wednesday, and in lieu of a funeral, she wanted to be cremated and have a “celebration of life” service. So fitting for her. The service would be Sunday night in my hometown. It’s about a 6 hour drive from Nashville to my hometown in south Alabama. I was able to make the trip down and back for Sunday’s celebration gathering and be there with my friends to participate and share in that moment. It was important to me, and like it always happens, there seem to be other reasons we can’t see until we go.

I think maybe my teenage kid is right. All of us experience the bad, good, and ugly of life. I’ve just had too many perfectly unplanned things happen that I don’t chalk up to accidents or some, universal, arbitrary, lining up of the stars. To some, I’m a simpleton that believes in the notion that there is a creator that orchestrates the paths in this life for billions of people. I guess I am….I didn’t say I had all the answers either, or understand exactly how that plays out from one day to the next. I just think it’s just as logical to believe in “something” as it is to believe that “something just happened”…..

There’s one thing I’d add to this “change in plans idea”……if we really believed that God is love, then we shouldn’t be surprised that it’s not all about us when our plans change unexpectedly. It’s always about both. It’s either something we have the opportunity to give, or it’s the fact we need to experience it, or, and most often, it is going to be both.

I also think my daughter is right…..some things are just a part of “this life” and He’s got the rest under control too..

“Make your plans, pursue your dreams…..but don’t be surprised with the detours…they just might be the most important part of your life”

Love you, Love you Big!

Bill Buckner R.I.P.

All my friends know I love baseball. I loved playing baseball and like most guys that kid will always be in there, somewhere:) I learned a lot of lessons about life through baseball. I played other sports too but baseball won my heart.

I was a teenager when Bill Buckner was playing first base for the Boston Red Sox in 1986. I remember watching the world series when the infamous play that defined Bill Buckner’s career happened. It was game 6, and it was the 10th inning. Boston was up 3-2 for the series. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, or simply hadn’t arrived on the planet recent enough to know the history, then you know what happened when Bill missed the ground ball hit by Mookie Wilson that caused the winning run for the Mets in game 6. It changed his life. It also made a difference in my life.

Bill Buckner was 36 years old that year. He started his career with the Dodgers, then the Cubs, then he was traded to the Red Sox. Buckner played 22 years total. He was NL Allstar in 1981, won the NL batting title in 1980. His lifetime batting average is 289. His on base slugging percentage is 309, and his lifetime slugging percentage is 405. He had 2,715 total hits, and batted over 300 four seasons straight for the Cubs and that is just part of his impressive stats. The man was one of the best hitters and RBI leaders the game has ever known.

What you may not know is half his career he played with bad ankle injuries. Before his injuries Bill was quite a threat as a base runner. In the first 6 seasons two of those seasons he stole 28 & 31 bases respectfully. After each game and before each game after the injuries he would ice down his ankles and play through the pain. When he was 18 years old after being drafted to play AAA ball, Bill played an entire season with a broken jaw….wired shut. He was brought up to the big leagues at age 19.

That fateful night in 1986, for some reason Bill was kept on the field as the 10th inning started. Normally, he would have been substituted that late in the game, but not that night. Buckner was playing over toward second base to protect against the hole and the ball was hit over the first base bag and Mookie Wilson was already three quarters down the line as Buckner tried to make a play on the ball and it slipped between his glove and his leg. Even if Buckner had fielded the ball, there’s a 90 percent chance Mookie would have beat it out. Nevertheless, Buckner was marked for the rest of his career and life.

Life is full of ups and downs and great irony. The Boston Red Sox wouldn’t have made it the series that year without Bill Buckner. They wouldn’t have won the first three games without Bill Buckner. The fact is, that game didn’t lose the series for the Sox either. That didn’t stop the media and the fans from crucifying Buckner. It became the “go to” in “worst chokes ever” and the butt of many jokes. He even received death threats from deranged fans. You want to talk about thick skin, well, Bill seemed to have it because he played four more years in the majors and even came back to finish his career with Boston in 1990.

Baseball is a funny game. You’re a team but you stand at your position and at the plate all by yourself. The thing is, everyone makes errors, strikes out, and goes 0-4 in any given game or games. We also have streaks where we are flawless on the field, and just can’t miss at the plate. It’s an up and down game that is defined by consistency, clutch play, and calm nerves. There are days that the game last hours, and other days it breezes by. It’s also defined by our attitude toward our teammates. What do you tell you’re friend when they’ve had a bad game, made a bad error, or they’re in a slump? Do you celebrate the achievements with them or become jealous, or simply don’t care?

Bill Buckner suffered needless persecution from the media and fans that continued to remind him of his one, fateful night. It followed him into retirement and become so bad he finally moved to Arizona to find peace. Being the champion that he was, he found a way to forgive them, and even came back to do funny tv ads and promotions that allowed him to be the butt of the joke for the sake of the common good.

Bill Buckner passed a way over this past memorial day on May 27, 2019. He died of Lewy Body Dementia. Bill finally came back to Fenway in 2008 and was greeted by a standing ovation. Long overdue.

That night in 1986 Bill Buckner became one of my heroes. He handled that event with so much grace and class that I was amazed. He came back in game seven and once again lead off with a single in the 8th inning to try to help rally his team to win. He never quit playing. He always gave it his all and left it all on the field.

I hope he knew somehow that he was a hero to many of us who love this game and also love this game of life. Well played Mr. Buckner….well played!

Love you all…love you Big!