Wow….it’s already the end of May and now June. Time does seem to fly, doesn’t it? A few weeks ago now, I had the opportunity to make a quick trip to my hometown of Greenville, Alabama. I was asked to be a part of a celebration of the life of our theater teacher, Roberta Gamble. She was a force and a leader in our community. She was as passionate about theater as my coaches were about sports. I enjoyed being a part of it, saying a few words, performing, and visiting with people I hadn’t seen, and meeting new people that came to the theater that she made possible. It was a joyous night.
Earlier that morning however, I was at a funeral for my aunt, Joyce Sikes. My Aunt Joyce fell in love and married my mother’s brother, Charles Sikes and the two of them started and shared a life together. Funerals are a mixed bag. On one hand, it serves as closure and a final goodbye “for now”, and the other hand, it feels like a reunion of sorts as friends and family make their way through the line sharing words of condolences followed by stories and multiple conversations. It’s an odd but normal behavior. We laugh, love, and cry in one event. That’s a funeral. We seem to celebrate and pay respects to the life we lost and at the same time comfort and celebrate the fact we are still here with the ones that remain. The conflict for some of us, especially family, is the emotional trap.
I’m not saying it’s a bad trap, it’s just a trap of emotion. For some, we stay stoic, smile, nod, and thank people for coming, and comfort the other family members that are expressive with their emotions. For others, there is a complete shutdown. No tears and no words. Still for others, it’s instinctive to be conversational, crack a lighthearted outgoing tone in an effort to encourage and guide through the event. Whatever your personality is, it’s ok. It’s all ok. No matter what, the funeral will end and the quiet moments will come for us all.
As I left the lunch that was provided at the funeral my mind went to the next thing. The Ritz Theater. As I walked out on stage with my guitar, what I had planned to say in my mind, I looked out in the audience, and I thought of Aunt Joyce. She too was a Greenville Tiger. Earlier at the reception before the show I spoke with many people who knew her expressing their love and stories they remembered. I had a person say to me years ago, “Kevin, people remember the ones who loved”. That is so true.
And there I was on stage in that moment remembering two people who loved. I spoke of leadership, and the qualities of leaders as I made comments about Mrs. Gamble and the last quality I mentioned was leaving a legacy. I said, long after our names are not spoken and the stories are not told, the true legacy we leave will be what we left in the hearts of people we knew. Did we sow seeds of love? Love is not a weak word. It encompasses many things. Love also means discipline, commitment, faith, sacrifice, and fortitude. It’s the strongest force in the universe. Not surprising when we are told, “God is love”. The legacy we leave in the hearts of others as we pass through this life will travel far past ours.
My Aunt Joyce left a legacy too. She loved her children, and she loved her friends, coworkers, and total strangers. The theme music to celebrate Mrs. Gamble’s life was naturally Broadway tunes and while I don’t do them on any kind of regular basis, I chose to revisit a song called “Where is Love.” I sang this song as child when cast to play Oliver in “Oliver Twist”. If you’ve seen “Oliver Twist” then you know in the scene he sings this song, he is in total despair. He doesn’t know if the light will come, hence the song “Where is love”. It’s soft, almost prayer like…As I started my gentle version through my guitar all the emotion of the day culminated.
That’s the way life is, isn’t it? Everything comes in waves. How ironic, or maybe it’s not at all? I felt in that moment and as my voice cracked on the last little falsetto note, that love is exactly what I’ve been getting my whole life. How blessed am I? No, life isn’t easy, it’s been filled with challenges for all of us but at the end of the day, there was someone or many someone’s who loved me and you….that is what we need to pass on as we pass through.
Love Big,